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Saturday, July 28, 2018

THE FLOATING DIARY (Short Story Journal – 21): OBLIVION

As time flies by and my ailment advances, a fear, a hidden anxiety has begun to grip my mind. There are so many things I want to remember. There are so many incidences, so many people, so many experiences, so many emotions that I really want to remember after my amnesia overwhelms my existence. However, I find that many of these memories are already forgotten. Is it because of my amnesia or simply a natural oblivion? I don’t know. Yet, the anxiety keeps mounting! Just as I was trying to find a way to cope up with this turmoil, something happened… something really wonderful. I met Dr. Prabhakar!

My doctor referred me to Dr. Prabhakar a couple of days ago. Dr. Prabhakar is a psychiatrist and lives a couple of blocks away from my house. Looking at the mounting anxiety level, my doctor felt that I needed professional support and suggested his name to me. The first phrase that came to my mind when I heard his name was, “I am not going mad! Why do I need to visit a psychiatrist? I am not a mental patient by any measure!”

I expressed my irritation and reluctance to my doctor but he insisted with the words, “Just go and meet him casually. I personally recommend this to you. Trust me, your anxiety will vanish in no time!”

With an unwilling mindset, I decided to visit Dr. Prabhakar on a Sunday. Yesterday I got an opportune time and went to his house around 11 AM. As I arrived, the first thing that grasped my imagination was the subtle serenity of the house. The two-storeyed house looked like a mini bungalow. The white color of the walls radiated an aura of happiness and cheer and my first impression slowly began to become positive. I walked up to the gate and knocked on the door. A housekeeper let me inside and made me sit on the sofa. Within a few moments, Dr. Prabhakar arrived from another room. He was about six feet tall, moderately fair complexioned, thin and athletic in body built and wore a stubble around his chin. Even through the rimless glasses of his spectacles, I could see his large, bright and expressive eyes.

Dr. Prabhakar had a personality that carried an equal charisma in his character, just like the serene house, that clicked a positive note in my heart. I felt comfortable in his presence and the initial introduction made me at ease even more.

I poured out my heart to him and revealed the innermost causes of my present anxiety. I asked eagerly, “I want to remember so many things. But when I try to write them down, I find that there are so many things that I have completely forgotten! Sir, I cannot control this anxiety. What should I do?”

Dr. Prabhakar replied, “Mr. Pravin, first come with me please. I want you to meet somebody.”

I followed him and we went into an adjacent room. It was a pretty spacious room with large windows ushering in the bright sunlight. At one corner sat a frail old lady on a wheelchair. A nurse was standing beside her while she stared outside the window. Hearing our footsteps, the old lady looked at us. There was a tranquil smile on her face and she waved lightly at us and then looked back at the window again.

“Mr. Pravin, she is my mother. At the age of 88 years, she is completely at peace. But, do you know why?” asked Dr. Prabhakar, as we went back to the living room and sat on the sofa.

I didn’t know what to say. Dr. Prabhakar continued, “Most of her memory is gone. It is a natural progression with age. She has seen many calamities, many hardships, many deaths, many sorrows. However, peace and tranquility is her biggest gift now. And this is the gift of OBLIVION.”

I was slowly digesting the discourse while Dr. Prabhakar spoke, “Mr. Pravin, the human brain is not just trained to remember… it is also trained to forget!”

I smiled on hearing his words and Dr. Prabhakar continued further, “We should not, rather we must not remember everything! That would be so painful. Can you imagine how painful it would be if we remember every incidence when we got hurt, or felt pain? How miserable it would be if every time we try to write something, we remember how we first learnt to while letters of the alphabet. Think, how sad it would be if the grief of losing a loved-one is not washed away with time. Life would be a mess then! OBLIVION is a bliss… it is a gift of GOD that helps us to be happy!”

I said, “Your words are very true Dr. Prabhakar. I think I understand what you are hinting towards.”

Dr. Prabhakar touched my hands softly and said, “Mr. Pravin… Be happy that you have forgotten some things. It is best to forget some things. That is how Mother Nature has created us. Your inner soul would make you remember what needs to be remembered. You note that down in your journal, and let go of the rest. Cherish this gift of forgetting… this will keep you happy!”


I came back home with a heart that was free of the burden which was building up for the past couple of days. I understood, I understand and I am really delighted that I met Dr. Prabhakar. Truly, OBLIVION is a bliss and my diary is a true reflection of who I am.

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