Its 12:45 AM by the wall-clock as Pratim lay on his bed at the Mother Mercy’s old-age home. At 65 years of age, Pratim understood, he realized that he was sinking. It’s true that death reveals all facts, clears all doubts, and so did it…and so did it.
Lying on his bed Pratim could see the ceiling of the dark room where he has stayed for five years, but now as he looked at it, the ceiling seemed to slowly dissolve away and gently reveal the dark sky that lay above it, lay beyond it … gradually he was able to see the twinkling stars embedded in that predominant mammoth darkness … Yes, there was no ceiling anymore, what lay was the vast sky above and above…
In that twinkling darkness, in that maze of emptiness and distant lights, time seemed to rewinds and flash across Pratim’s eyes… The days that have passed away, the days that Pratim has lived, the days only, which were left for him to cherish, to treasure…, all flashed passed across in reverse!
Like a flash of lightning the days appeared in front of his eyes… the day his son escorted him to the Mother Mercy’s old-age home as he was getting too old to stay at Home and be cared for, the day he retired from work, the day his wife Rachna passed away. Everything screened in front of Pratim’s eyes in reverse cycle.
Pratim interpreted, he understood that he was dying…at sixty-five he realized, “So this is death, this is how it all ends” … Indeed … death reveals all, clears all … He smirked.
The images moved on … Pratim could now see the days when his son got married to his college love Archana, the day when he first revealed about her, the day when Pratim took him to The Prestige College for admission! Perhaps a better girl could have held Pratim’s family together, perhaps Pratim could have made his son choose a better girl, a better college, given him some better education, some better ethics to be a better human being…so that he would not have regretted like he was doing currently.
“Oh, there are so many times, so many points where I have made a mistake, so many places where I could have made a better decision…Oh, there are indeed so many times I did not do that”
In reverse it all was crystal clear…but the mistakes can never be mended, they only get revealed, they can only be understood.
The days appeared in front of him where he saw, he witnessed without believing his own eyes, Arpita spoil her family by being a stubborn woman who never cared for anyone! How selfish a person can be, who is so beautiful outwardly, so beautiful by appearance! The days appeared in front of Pratim’s eyes when he ill-treated his wife, Rachna, so badly, just because his father had chosen him his bride and he could not pursue the love he had for his Love… Arpita!
Pratim cursed himself for being so rude, for being so cruel on a woman who loved him throughout her life, for a woman who never loved anyone! In reverse it cleared all confusions, cleared all point where he had been so wrong! Tears rolled down from his eyes, down his cheeks, over the aging and crippled skin covering his bones…covering his soul.
Gradually the images got replaced by those of his college days, the days when Arpita played with his heart…and like a fool he followed her in hope of a mirage that he then used to call…LOVE! Those beautiful eyes now seemed so stone cold for which he rebelled with his family and spoiled his relationship with his parents… “What a waste” Pratim said to himself, “What a waste!”
“If only I could see it then, what I see now…if only I could see it all those years back!” Pratim wanted to cry aloud.
The images kept moving and Pratim saw his first day at college when he got first ragged, the day he cried alone at the dark alley beside his house so that nobody could see him for being so embarrassed, he wanted to hide away for a whole life from everything! The images were so fresh, he was actually living every moment of it ...or was he dying every moment of it; Pratim had no answer, perhaps nobody ever has any answer!
The images that now came were those of his school days, where he had no worries, those playful years where the life was in enjoying every moment of it with friend with books with little quarrels and with promises to best friends to be with each other forever and ever and ever.
“Forever and ever and ever…” Pratim laughed.
Gradually the images faded and he saw himself being cuddled by so many people, some of whose faces were familiar, some unfamiliar. Pratim understood he was now an infant.
The images moved away… and a predominant white filled the space around him with the silence and peace of the heaven…it was something more than that, Pratim comprehended…it was a predominance of purity … and in that white nowhere, or everywhere, he didn’t know for sure, a face appeared…he now knew could clear all pains, heal all wounds, a face of unconditional love...YES…it was the face of his Mother!
And then… a tunnel of light appeared, a tunnel whose end Pratim tried to reach … a tunnel that took him away … and Time froze, forever!
The wall-clock at the Mother Mercy’s old-age home showed 12:48 AM. The Last Three minutes were over. The last three minutes to Live or Die an entire life…nobody knows! But indeed it’s true that death reveals all facts, clears all doubts, and so did it…and so did it.
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